Enduring the Hard for the Promise of a Harvest

 "Oh God, I can't do this. What do I do?" 

This is the thought that fell like an anchor in my churning stomach last week as my newly adopted pre-teen son was in the middle of a dysregulated episode; he was tearing up family pictures with a pale face that was void of emotion while I looked on hoping that his behavior would be confined to this room today. I prayed silently that he wouldn't escalate his emotions to self-harm this time. I cycled through the TBRI training we've had over the past several years, trying to think of a magic tool that could end this uncomfortable situation that was compounding my stress from an emotionally hard week. I thought about some of the regulation strategies (like these), but knew that in my son's case, he isn't there yet. He didn't have the wherewithal to take steps to self-correction. He was in the middle of fight or flight, and he was escaping through selective mutism and he was fighting (thankfully, safely) with the tearing of the photos and his hasty dismantling of his Legos, which he later attempted to bury in the backyard. Why? I have no idea. Dysregulation is often baffling and seems to make no logical sense. And on top of all that, it can leave a parent feeling hopeless, helpless, angry, and regretful. 

As parents, particularly as adoptive parents, we don't like to acknowledge hard, negative emotions. We don't like to admit that we have moments of regret or desperation. But the hard truth is that those emotions happen. And that is okay. I'm sure we've all had moments at work, in various situations, where we wanted escape and hastily considered options we'd likely never choose, whether that is to quit your job, tell off your spouse, or ram your car into that person that cut you off at the red light. As much as we'd like to deny it, we feel things sometimes that can seem so wrong, or *gasp* even evil. 

Adoption, particularly older-child adoption, is hard. It is sacrificial. It is exhausting. Our kids are broken, hurt, dealing with thoughts and emotions that we can seldom understand. And in this moment of dysregulation, this moment of my son behaving erratically and angrily, I felt lost. I felt those nasty, embarrassing negative emotions. So, what did I do? How did we resolve it? I chose control and empathy over personal comfort. That is what we do for our kids. This is how they learn control. By seeing us maintain our 'calm.' We don't have to lie about it, either. In fact, I told my son in a calm, loving tone that these moments make me afraid too. I softly explained that I get angry and just want the uncomfortable part to be over. But, that life isn't easy, and we learn to make it through it. I modeled self-regulation. But, guess what? That didn't end it. That magic tool I wanted so badly doesn't exist. Some things have to be lived. They have to be felt. They have to run their course. And this was one of those moments. In the meantime, I gave him a model of control, spoke softly and empathetically, offered loving proximity and contact as he would allow, maintained silence as he needed it, and stood guard to protect him from himself (and others from him if necessary). Inside, I was a storm of uncertainty, frustration, and inadequacy. Outside, I was his anchor that he wasn't aware he needed. 

Some may read this and think, "I could never do that." Others may feel this confirms their reservations about adoption (or fostering or hosting, etc). But let me tell you, you can do so much more than you think. It isn't about how capable you are NOW, but how well you prepare yourself for these moments. We often look at training and education as simply an obligatory means to an end. But in the case of parenting kids from hard places, our preparation is an investment that goes on to mean the world to a child in our care. We choose to be uncomfortable so they can learn to manage their discomfort. We choose to hurt, so they can learn to heal. We choose to know feelings of inadequacy and helplessness, so they can learn autonomy and personal industry. This is the love that Christ demonstrated to us on the Cross of Calvary, and it is the love that his Word challenges us to show this world within our daily lives, whether to the orphan, to the widow, or to the neighbor on the other side of the tracks. 

This is my anthem in our current transition: "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9, ESV) The continual investment is draining. This morning, in the last half-hour, my son has asked me if I love him about 30 times, about once every minute. Not to be funny, but because he feels a constant need for affirmation. That we love him, that we will never leave him, and that even when times are hard, we will be his refuge. He is rebuilding his sense of trust, and he needs and deserves the love and patience that helps him to do that. Whether it is saying 'I love you' a million times a day, or dealing with a snoring 12 year old sleeping next to you in order for him to feel safe, or enduring the difficult and painful moments of his dysregulation, this is our charge. To care for those who are in affliction. God gives us the strength. He causes us to endure. He gives us grace where we fail. We are able, as the apostle Paul did, to boast in our weakness, so that His strength is shown perfect. We may not be able, but God ALWAYS is. 

Men Must Run

"Don't run, Seth, where is your dignity?" said my friend Andrés as we crossed the busy avenida to get to Pollos America - the best rotisserie chicken in Cochabamba, Bolivia. Joking, I retorted, "When the chicken is this good, running is necessary." Andrés was one of the several young men I was working with through mentorship and discipleship. He was from an underprivileged home and only recently had begun to experience the taste of eating out. For some of the guys, I expected it to be more exciting for them, but their culture somehow had them believe that if they ran, it meant they had no dignity. It was an unspoken, subtle way to snub the wealthy, to say, 'what you have really isn't much better.' This type of attitude and mentality was fairly common among the population we did ministry with, and that phrase, "where's your dignity," is a perfect example of how we let our pride steal the joy of what is to come. We often do not run, because we think that it is unbecoming. I think of the quote from the Justin Timberlake movie where your currency is the time you have left to live (In Time), "if he has time, he doesn't need to run."

Running is for exercise. Other than getting the heart rate up, there is no need to run. We teach our kids not to run. We tell them, no running in the house. No running in the store. No running at church. Be calm, be still.

...be dignified. 

We seem to have married this sentiment with our daily interactions and we no longer run. And sadly, I think this is especially true among men. We don't run unless it is for sport. We do not like to be rushed or to appear too emotional. We have been conditioned to think that men can only be excited over sports, and any other display of vulnerability is unwarranted. Yelling, running, crying, and more are not allowed outside of that framework. We limit our ability to demonstrate sincerity in passion, and have stunted the depth of ours relationships with those around us. To an extent, we have all been taught to stifle our joy when it is not culturally appropriate. For instance, women generally aren't viewed with the same contempt for showing their emotions. However, there are moments. Most men don't mind, some even enjoy, seeing a woman excited about sports. But, that excitement is confined to the superficiality of professional sports; there must be at least some degree of relational separation. Most boys, and a lot of dads, tend to not want their moms or sisters or wives rooting too much at the their little league or high school games. Why is that so embarrassing? Because it somehow, and in an unspoken way, suggests that those boys on the field are somehow less independent or capable. Mama's boys are seen as weak boys. I'd be willing to suggest that vast majority of the ways in which vulnerability must be hidden is directed in what we think about how a man should be and how we think men should act.  

But this idea, this aspect of our culture, is not really in line with Scripture. Paul said, "but [the Lord] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ power may rest on me." Throughout the Bible we see example after example about the strength it takes for men to be vulnerable, and how the Lord uses that for His kingdom. In a world where men are told not to be vulnerable, we must remember Nehemiah weeping for the city of Jerusalem. We must remember that though Jesus raised Lazarus, first he wept for him, mourning with those who mourned. We must remember that when the prodigal son returned after his material betrayal of his family, his father ran to him to embrace him. Men, we must not only learn when to weep, but when to run. It is not just okay, but right. 

In about a month, we will be in the city of Bogotá, Colombia to finalize the adoption of my 12 year old son. This week has been a hard one, and my mind has not paused from counting the days until we will have him in our arms. Over the past several days I have seen photos of a few friends currently there in Colombia to finalize their adoptions. One picture of my friend Mindy had me in utter tears as I mourned the present absence of our boy. The moment she saw them, she began to run to them. You see one of her two new sons beginning to break stride towards his new family. In tears I considered our own upcoming reencounter with D. The thought crossed my mind, "Don't run, Seth, be a man." But that is not what being a man is. I know with certainty, I will run too. I will let nothing stand in my way. He is ours and we are his. I know that the Father must have the same (and bigger) love towards us. What better testimony and example of that, as men, than for us to learn to run. 

Subtle Imposters

Several years ago, I was in Costa Rice with a group of students for an educational eco-tour of the country. It was an amazing experience that included everything from sight-seeing the sulfuric lakes inside a volcano to swimming with a type of piranha in a lake near an active volcano. We saw wild capuchin monkeys, delinquent beach racoons, and even a family of hungry iguanas. The plant life was beautiful, and our group was able to explore everything from the central rain forest to the beautiful beaches of the Manuel Antonio National Park. We learned so much, but I remember one thing that just really stood out to me for some reason. Did you know that 2-toed sloths and 3-toed sloths are from two different families of animals? I'm amazed at how two animals that are so incredibly similar can be from a totally different species, genus, and family. The same degree of classification that separates a lion from a seal separates a 2-toed from a 3-toed sloth. That is "wild" to me - pun ashamedly intended. 

Okay, I'll stop the science lesson there, but that experience in Costa Rica has been on my mind a good bit today. And I keep thinking about those sloths and how much they look alike, but how different they really are. It soberly reminds me of the analogy of the wheat and tares mentioned in Scripture. They look so similar, yet are vastly different. In order to tell them apart you have to know what "fruit" or characteristics should be present. If we hop back to the science lesson, 3-toed sloths eat only leaves, whereas the 2-toed sloths will occasionally also eat animal protein. Because of that extra protein in their diet, the 2-toed sloths are faster than 3-toed ones. In Scripture, the wheat is what you want to harvest - the useful, nutritious crop. In the same way the tares look just like unripened wheat stalks; the only different is that the tares do not bare fruit.

In the American Church, and in other areas, it seems we have lost the delicate art of discerning and teaching the difference between the proclaimers and the remnant of true believers. Being a Christ follower is not an intellectual recognition and assent of who Christ is, but it is a life altering, heart changing submission and belonging to Jesus. In a world where we have so diligently pushed the ideas of free-grace and anti-works theology, many have sadly forgotten that true relationship with Jesus will always be evidenced by sincere fruit. Scripture has been clear that while salvation is not by works, our faith is proven by them. We demonstrate our faith by our works and we are to be known by our fruit, not our confession. 

Paul said, "to live is Christ, to die is gain." This sentiment boldly encompasses the difference between the wheat and the tares of the Church. For those in Christ, we claim to know nothing but Him crucified. In a day and age where political polarity and biblical illiteracy reigns, we must remember that our home is not this world. So, our endeavors and passions must always be heavenward. On the day of judgement, Scripture says we will be asked more about how we cared of the least among us, than on our political affiliation, our election choice, or our Sunday morning attendance record. Jesus said to the tares (those proclaimers who deceive themselves), "When I was hungry, you gave me nothing to eat. When I was thirsty, you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger and sojourner, and you did not invite me in. I was naked and you did not clothe me. I was sick and in prison, and you did not visit me." And, they will go away into eternal punishment. 

Lord, let us with sober thinking and with fear and trembling examine our lives to see that we are indeed in the faith. Open our eyes to the image bearers around us who need our care and our focus. Forgive our apathy and our worldly distractions, forgive our carnal and selfish ambitions. Teach us to love like you, and to live a life that testifies to your mercy and your grace. Give us a passion for the orphan and widow, the poor and the outcasts. Let us love them according to your commands, and let us look first to their interest before to our own. Let us humble ourselves in prayer and in obedience to your work. And, let us hunger fervently for our heavenly home. In Jesus name I ask these things on behalf of your Church and your people.

Grace and peace, friends. 

Thoughts on Mother's Day

She woke up before the alarm, as was common on Sundays, and sleepily began her routine of starting the Keurig for her morning cup of java flavored motivation and tossing her and her husband's church clothes into the dryer for the Sunday "ironing." After adding a bit of sweetened fancy creamer to her over-sized mug from her trip to the mountains, she settled into the couch to surf facebook and drink her coffee while waiting for the dryer to buzz. She quickly regretted the daily dose of social media as she scrolled passed all the Mother's Day posts. It wasn't that she was against Mother's Day or had any negative views of mothers, in fact, she loved her mother deeply and had arranged for her to receive flowers and a card the day before, and looked forward to their afternoon chat on the phone. It's just that she deeply wanted to be a mother and had not yet experienced that "special miracle of life." So, while she wanted to be happy for those mothers being celebrated, she inwardly wrestled with her own frustration, jealousy, anger, sadness, and a million other emotions in the mix. And, the guilt for feeling many of those feelings helped her to push that bubbling conflict down below the surface so that it went unseen. "This is a day for mothers," she thought, "I should be silent." 

I wonder how many women go through a similar routine on days like today. As a man, its a bit of a stretch for me to understand those emotions, but I'm not blind to them. I remember watching my sister hide her pain behind her smile, enduring 2 ectopic pregnancies and a failed attempt at in-vitro. I remember the awkward feeling in church when mothers were asked to stand for recognition, and she remained seated. (God eventually blessed her with TWO beautiful, biological girls.) But, it isn't always just a matter of infertility and not every story ends in a surprise pregnancy. Have you ever wondered how moms of adopted children sometimes may feel? They get the card, the recognition in church, and the big breakfast. But do they feel like a legitimate member of the "mom-team"? They do all the mom stuff, and their love is just a big and fierce for their children. But, sometimes they struggle. And not just on Mother's Day.

Why bring this up? Well, as you post your Mother's Day comments to make the moms in your life feel special, be careful which words you choose to use. Focus on motherhood, not so much on gestation. Not just for the adoptive mom, but for the adopted child reading your posts as well. Be sure not to indirectly lessen the legitimacy of those bonds and relationships that are built on adoption versus biology. And, don't feel bad if you have done so unaware. One thing I admire about the women that surround me, is their resilience and wherewithal to value intent over action. They can handle it, just help us make it so that they don't have to so often. I mean some of it is funny. The whole "women who pee when they laugh" or "you owe me for my swollen feet and umpteen hours in labor" gets some smirks and laughs, don't stop that - by all means milk that for some extra chocolates. Just, try to keep that more in the family instead of the world wide web of eyes. Because lets be honest, motherhood is so much more than giving birth. It is teaching, guiding, loving, caring, nurturing, comforting, etc, etc, etc. It is a work that is never done and requires a thousand percent more energy than a person could have.

Today, I want to take a sec to honor an amazing mom, my wife. She is an adoptive mother and so much more. God didn't bless us with bio-kids, but he sure blessed us with OUR kids. Regardless of biology, DNA, or one of those hereditary abilities like curling a tongue, Ashley is THEIR mother, and Cruz, Carmen, and Lola (and D as soon as we get him home) are HER children. I have watched her tend to their needs with love and patience. I've witnessed her hard work to teach them how to do big and small tasks. I've been amazed at how she keeps on top of their sizes in clothing, when they need new toothbrushes or underwear, and even everything they ate during the day. She has a keen sense of when they are upset, need a hug, or are looking for some encouragement. I see her cry for them, pray for them, and at times miss them when they are asleep in the next room. She perfectly manages the duties of motherhood, responsibilities of a full-time job, and being the most amazing and supportive wife a man could ask for. I am continually amazed at this beautiful woman who is an incredibly wonderful mom. She not only loves her own children, but her heart has grown and deepened allowing her to wildly love others in general. She doesn't just mother our children, but encourages, prays for, and is present for so many more.

Mother's don't just mother those kids with their same last name or DNA. Mother's aren't just women with kids in their home. There are numerous women out there who do not have bio kids or kids at home, but who are moms to so many kids with 'orphaned' or hurting hearts. Here's to those mothers today too, to those special and strong women who have the capacity to love their nieces and nephews and neighbors and the 'least of these'. I want you to know that you are seen, you are valued, and you are celebrated. You are no less a woman if you have never carried a child. If anything you are stronger, wiser, and more empathetic because of it. There are no traits wrought from suffering or hardship that are not to our benefit. So, happy Mother's Day. Enjoy your day; and know that if you can laugh with your kids or the neighbor's kids without peeing a little - hey that is a benefit too... ;)

One More Powell

I recently preached a message about missions and the importance of the Great Commission as believers (here). We saw how God gave us a command to "be fruitful and multiply" over and over in His Word, and how Jesus told us the same thing. Afterwards, I began to think about the message I gave just a few weeks before on Orphan Sunday (here). It dawned on my that they go hand in hand. As we considered the instruction in the book of James to care for orphans and widows in their distress, as we tend to the least of those among us and the weakest of our society, we find the "religion that is pure before the Lord." A "religion" that involves going after the lost sheep, and bringing them back to the fold. I mentioned that apart from finding salvation in Christ Jesus, our principal purpose is to participate in the commission of Christ by proclaiming the gospel and discipling new believers. The other way we grow the faith family is by growing our family. Don't misunderstand. This is not a blog about how single people are sinning, etc. I don't think that. But, I do think we need to give time and consideration to our "family goals" and how we build our families. When I think about the great commission, I can't help but see our care for orphan's as part of that mandate. It is one of the best images of the gospel. Take that soul who was lost or abandoned or product of circumstance, and bring them into the family to be loved, cherished, and to give them new identity.

Some may think we are just obsessed with adoption. Maybe we are. I don't know. But I know that I am eternally grateful to the Lord for the beautiful children he blessed us with. I could talk for days about the miracle that each one of them is to me and to my wife. I love to think back on the stories of when Cruz came into our lives (here) and when we met our beautiful daughters (here). Feel free to go read those blogs too. God has given us a particular heart for children who need a family. I also feel he has given us a particular gifting to love and receive others into our family, in many ways. Most of you know about my son, Edson, who I raised in Bolivia and is studying medicine now. Most of you know about our foster children we've taken in and cared for at different times over the years. You've heard about Will and Sebastian and Miguel and Brandon. And if you are close enough, maybe you've already heard about D. 

After a good bit of prayer and a lot of research, we recently decided to look into international adoption. Long story short, we came across a program called P143 that finds host families to host orphans from Latvia, Ukraine, and Colombia. All the children who are hosted, are available for adoption. You pay the expenses to host the child and after the hosting period you can either be an advocate for the child to help find an adoptive family, or you can petition to adopt yourself. As we began speaking with the organization and looking at the photos, we fell in love with a boy in a life jacket talking about canoeing. 

At the time I'm writing this, D has been with us a whole week, and we are already smitten with this beautiful, affectionate, and kind little man. He deserves a family who will love him as deeply and as widely as possible to help heal the hurts in his bruised heart. From depression to self-harm, a younger disposition than his physical age, and an unfortunate taste for inappropriate music, D needs a consistent and stable family that can help him build confidence, learn to handle his big emotions, and where he can feel loved unconditionally.

We so want to be that family. But we need God to work it out. We can't officially petition for an adoption until after we have to say some hard good byes in just a few short weeks. If we are approved by the US and Colombian sides, we will have a roller coaster of deadlines, paperwork, and fees to surmount before we can bring him "home" for good. This said, please pray for us. Please, pray for D. And, if you want to help D get to a forever home faster, please help us find a way to fund the difficult steps along the way. 

Here are the estimated costs we will have to cover: 

1. Home Study, $2,500

2. US Processing Fee 1, $2,450 (after application approval)

3. US Processing Fee 2, $3,000 (after home study approval)

4. USCIS Application, $1,000

5. Colombia Program Fee, $13,700

6. Colombia Processing Fee, $4,897

7. Post Placement Report, $1,200

8. Additional Costs during process

     a. Psychological Evaluation, $1,000

     b. Dossier Service, $1,000

     c. Travel, $5,000

Total: $35,747

As you can see, it is a very expensive process. And the idea of trying to pay something like that is overwhelming. But the idea of D going without a family, or us going without him in our lives is a motivating force. We know that if God led us here, he'll lead us through. His provision is perfect. 

Thank you for reading, 

Seth

How to give:
GoFundMe

Paypal 

Venmo

Or you can mail a check: message for address

Abortion, Immigration, and Patriotism

I remember growing up, my mother took me to church every time the doors were open. She used to quote a verse from the book of Joshua often, "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Today, you see this quote on plaques and other art sold in Christian book stores, or as what-nots in people's homes. It has become somewhat of a cliché in modern American church culture. Some people say it with conviction, others out of tradition. I wonder, though, how often we contemplate the implications of that statement.

I was raised in Mississippi, the grandson of a WWII veteran, nephew and cousin to other members of the US military. I was raised to love God and country - still do. I love the United States and I am eternally grateful for the opportunities and the freedoms that my citizenry has afforded me. But, there exists something I value much more - my salvation. I still stand, I cross my heart, and I pledge allegiance to my nation; yet, in my heart and throughout all that I am, I pledge a greater allegiance to my God. Philippians 3:20 says, "but our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ." So, my "patriotism" is first to the eternal kingdom, then to the earthly one; that is, so long as the latter in no way impedes my obligation to the former.

I am first a Christian, and only second am I an American. But, sometimes, especially in the South, the order can get a little muddled. Of course, no one would dare say, "I'm an American first and a Christian second." At least, I doubt that anyone would. However, I would be willing to bet that if you examined people's lives, you'd find a few (if not a lot of) people whose allegiance is first to their earthly citizenship. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 4:18 that "we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." Basically, we are warned that we should not focus on the earthly things that will one day fade away, but on the eternal things (our spirit, our savior, etc). The earthly is not important when compared against the eternal. When we apply this to our patriotism, our US citizenship is unimportant when compared to being a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven.

I wonder if we consider this when we slander our 'neighbor' over politics, belittle rather than love our 'enemies', or when we impassion ourselves towards causes that bring us no closer to Holiness nor the lost to a Savior. I wonder if we consider this in topics like welfare or illegal immigration. It's been my experience that most people when arguing about this topic tend to use generalizations, stereotypes, and "fake news" with little personal investigation or experience. We argue legality, yet legality does not equal morality. In some countries it is illegal to own a Bible. Would you submit to that law? In other counties it is illegal to have more than a set number of children. Would you have an abortion to avoid jail time? In the US it legal to abort, does the law make this right? You see, laws can be good. And they are generally meant to protect people - and immigration laws do protect lots of people. But they can also create desperate situations for some people. We should not embrace positions based (at least if we are Christians) on our earthly laws, but on the eternal Word of God. The earthly comes second. US laws are secondary to commands like love your neighbor as yourself, do good to the foreigner, visit the orphan and the widow. We convince ourselves that our birthright is porcelain toilets in air conditioned houses and food in the fridge, and theirs is adobe huts with weeded holes in the ground a few feet from the front door. We convince ourselves "we can't take everyone in" or we say things like "you can't help everyone." We forget that the church in Acts "had everything in common and there was no need among them" (Acts 2, 4). We overlook that Paul told the Corinthians "your plenty is to supply their need" (2 Corinthians 8). We ignore Jesus telling us to "store up treasure in heaven" because our hearts will follow our treasure (Matthew 6). Don't confuse this for a rant on supporting open borders - I don't. This isn't political, it's biblical. We too often stand on soapboxes and choose our hills to die on, yet without sincerely and carefully building a stance based solely and firmly on the eternal word of God. Well, except when God's word happens to fit our narrative on things like homosexual acts and abortion.

We call it sin, and we post verses and biblical commentary on the value of life and God's role in the creation of all things. We march the capitol and write letters to congressmen and donate to campaigns that "fight for life" for the unborn. We protest abortion clinics and share graphic pictures on facebook and instagram. But, how many of us have fostered or adopted, served at a crisis pregnancy center, taken in a young mother, frequented the home of someone who is in dire straights, or spent your last forty dollars you had on a few groceries for someone who needed them? We invest in our retirement accounts when scripture tells us we aren't promised tomorrow, we invest in that home renovation when have brothers and sisters in Christ who live on street corners and below bridges. We invest in elaborate vacations and experiences with our families, while there are girls and young women deciding between their schooling or being a parent- a decision that the world tells them is okay no matter what they choose - they convince them either is noble. Yes, abortion is murder. Yes, it is wrong. Yes, the statistics point more towards convenience than need, but what does our attitude really say about us? Do we truly look pro-life to the world, or simply pro-birth? Are we taking up the charge for the orphan crisis in America, are we fighting against sex trafficking? Can we support even the people who we see as "abusing the system" or whom we decided are undeserving - is this really our call to make? You know who else received a handout they didn't deserve? You and me. We did not deserve salvation, nor to be rescued from wrath. We were born into sin and death, and we fully deserved God's anger and his eternal punishment. But Christ died for us anyway; he became our welfare and our medicaid. His grace is totally sufficient, and yet we ourselves abuse it all the time - not just for our own selfish pleasures but also as an excuse to look down on others whom we don't agree with. We can't scream against abortion if we aren't also screaming for the birthed living who need hope just as much and you and I do.

The point here is not to guilt you into doing something or to argue politics, but rather to spur you to really evaluate how you see things. The goal isn't to call wealth sin, to open the borders, or to support "reproductive health." Get the kitchen remodel, go on a Disney vacation, invest in your family all the ways you can. You see, those things are not the point. God is not opposed to you having nice things; but He is opposed to you putting yourself first and ignoring the plea of the poor. The beginning of Philippians chapter 2 tells us to "consider others as more significant than ourselves" and to "look not only to our own interests, but also the interests of others." I want us to realize all of the other things that are going on in this world around us and what is at truly stake. We are ambassadors of the kingdom of God. In 2 Corinthians 5, we see that as ambassadors God is making his appeal through us, saying "come to Christ!" We are but vessels to be used by the creator for his purpose. Romans 14 tells us we do not live or die to ourselves, but to God - we are His possession for His purpose. So then, we ought to ask ourselves: What are our real goals and our greatest desires for this life we have been given? What is the foundation for our soapbox dialog, is it our own collective anecdotal opinion or is it based on the infallible word of God? How often do we say "I believe..." or "I think..." or "I do..." followed by the words "because God's word says..." Where is the love by which we are to be known, or the compassion in which we are to walk, or the sincere humility that grants real grace from God (Proverbs 3:34)? Just a few things to think about...because, well...I'm thinking about them too.

Looking for love...

There was a song released in 1980 called, "Looking for Love." I'm sure we've all heard it at some point or another. The chorus says, 

"I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places,

lookin' for love in too many faces,

searchin' their eyes and lookin' for traces

of what I'm dreamin' of.

hopin' to find a friend and a lover;

I'll bless the day I discover

another heart lookin' for love."

This morning, during some reflection on the state of the world and the Church, this song popped into my mind. I think it is interesting how often the songs that seem to resonate so clearly with our culture, are the ones that are steeped in truths unseen by the blind.. the corrupt.. the lost. The first verse of the song says, "playin' a fools game hopin' to win and tellin' those sweet lies and losin' again." This line stuck out to me because it so accurately describes the monotony of cycling through the pleasures of this world looking for something to fill the void sin left in the heart of man. They do things over and over hoping to win, lying to themselves, misplacing their hope and failing to find fulfillment time and time again - a fools game. The song ends with the singer finally finding someone who is everything he looked for. In fact, he says that she is so perfect that he "blesses the day he discovered her." The irony is that he is still in his fools game, cycling through false hope. No person, experience, achievement, possession, etc can ever fill the gap that resulted from our fall from right relationship with our creator. 

This world is searching to fill a void only Jesus can fill. For some people they try to fill it with social activism, others with sexual gratification or obsessive hobbies. And some, attempting to protect themselves from having their void exploited, attempt to defend themselves with isolation or anti-normative behavior - those "I don't care what anyone thinks" people. This is why society is so keenly attracted to the LBGTQ community - acceptance. Or why gangs are so popular in certain areas - belonging. Or why people are so instinctively "clicky." We are drawn to places where we will be accepted, included, loved, and where we will feel like we belong. This is a counterfeit of what God's will for the Church is. We were called to unity - regardless of differences. Remember the line from Paul's letter to the Galatians, "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ." It doesn't matter what nationality someone is, their age, their skin color, their language, etc. We are called to be a family, bound in unity through Christ, and rooted in his love. 

So, if the "right place" to look for love is the Church, where we find Christ's deep love, why do so many people avoid the Church so vehemently? Could it be because they don't see us as "loving?" There are two reasons for this. The first is simply because "the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing" (1 Corinthians 1:18). People hate the Church because the world hated Christ first. Part of the reason everyone "looks for love in all the wrong places" is because they are offended by the gospel of Jesus. That reason is clear. But the second reason is one we should concern ourselves with. The second reason is that we lack love in our churches, and specifically, we lack love as a people. We are unconcerned with the plight of the orphan, the affliction of the widow, the needs of the poor, the pain of the hurting. We pursue comfort, luxury, and achievement over sacrifice, self-denial, and a life of surrender. We give from our leftovers, and never from our first fruits. We make little of the great sacrifice of Christ and yet we make much of our own desires and temporal achievements. We push for people to "find themselves," to "follow their hearts," and to "do what makes you happy." We declare our ideals to be such things as "be true to yourself" and "its okay to put yourself first." Our affection and attention turned inward when it was designed to be focused outward. And because of this, sadly it is becoming difficult to find love in church. 

So how do we replenish our love? How do we set our gaze outward? How do we become missional rather than content? We can't just make love. You can't just muster desire and drive. In this case, it comes from closeness with Jesus and consistent interaction with his Word. I am thankful to be a part of a church where they treat you like family. Where you are loved sincerely, and feel like your brothers and sisters really are there for you when you need them. But sadly, many people are not. Want to help the Kingdom grow? Show love. Be a place of welcome and refuge. Lead people to the RIGHT place to find love - a love that is true, that is abundant, and that is found at the Cross. Lead people to a place where they can belong, be loved, and be a part that will change them forever. Lead them to Jesus, the first of many brothers and sisters...