It was a quiet afternoon at home. I was working on dinner and Ashley was doing some light cleaning. The television was on. My phone rang and I recognized the number. Libby, our resource worker was calling. "This is it!" I thought to myself. "Our first foster child!"
Ashley and I had been married just over the required 2 years and, after some prayer and discussion, had become license foster parents. Growing up without my father, I always wanted to adopt children and to work with children. To love them and teach them. To give them an example or a shoulder. Ashley, too, wanted the same thing. God had made her with the unique ability to love like a mom. And that was her highest goal.
- "Mr. Powell, this is Libby with DHS. Do you have a moment?"
- "Yes, ma'am."
- "Look, I have a little boy who needs placement. His name is Cruz. He has blond hair and blue eyes. He is 3 years old. I will tell you, though, there are some issues."
- "I understand. What issues are we talking about?"
- "He isn't potty trained and is developmentally delayed."
- "Uh-huh. What type of delays?"
- "He is having trouble with his speech and I'm not sure what else, other than not being potty trained."
- "I see. And how long would this placement be?"
- "It would be around 3 to 6 months. The goal is reunification and we have a court date set for March 16th."
- "Okay. Well, let me talk to my wife and get back with you tonight."
- "Okay, I'll look for your call then."
Ashley and I talked about it. This was not our plan. We signed up for school aged children. We weren't ready for daycare. We weren't sure about a developmentally delayed child. On the other hand, we were basically asking God for a child to foster soon. We were licensed and expected calls to roll in, but they didn't. It took two months before the first call.
We decided to pray together. We did. We still weren't sure, but we began to think about the fact that this little boy needed a home. We weren't sure how we'd deal with the delays or where he'd go to daycare, but we knew God would give us strength. We knew that when we messed up, God would be there to bring healing and provision. We knew that it was both good and right to care for children in need. So, we decided, although anxiously, to okay the placement.
I called Libby back and told her the news. After the phone call, Ashley and I sat staring at each other. We smiled goofily. Maybe we were being a bit naive, but we actually started to get excited and giddy about the temporary addition to our home. We talked for hours that night before falling asleep far past our bedtime.
February 6th, 2009
All day at work, I couldn't focus. I told all of my co-workers about it. It probably took up far too much of my students' class time than it should've. But, I was thrilled and expectant. Looking back, I'm not sure it was any different from a ride to the hospital with a baby on the way. I hurried home after school. Ashley beat me there and had the house spotless. We both sat, staring out the window, waiting for Libby to pull up with little Cruz.
After an excruciatingly long 5 minutes of waiting, we saw her blue van pull into our driveway. Ashley let out a soft squeal and I suddenly had knots in my stomach. We walked outside to meet her and she was getting him out of his carseat. She turned to us, and there he was. This little boy, only a month past 3 years old, had been in 5 different houses, in just 6 months, before coming to live with us. He was wearing a sweater that was 2 sizes too big. I noticed quickly that he, in fact, had brown hair and brown eyes. Libby handed him over to Ashley and we walked inside.
Well, the house was quiet. And we all just sat at the table and gawked at each other. What do you do on the first day you have a child and that child is not a baby? In our case, we went to Mcdonalds and Target. That's the protocol, right?
March 16th, 2009
This was the day we were to meet Cruz's mother. We were so nervous about the hearing. The judge was going to give reunification orders and provide his mother with a list of things she would have to do before she could have her son back. Some of those things were to get a steady job, adequate housing, attend parenting classes, etc. We arrived early and waited anxiously. Obviously we had fallen in love with this beautiful little boy. He called me 'Se' and Ashley, 'Ahsh,' and was such a blessing to us.
Cruz's social worker told us that no one had heard from his mom and that they weren't sure if she'd be there. She had missed a prior court appointment and no one knew her whereabouts. It was soon time to go into the court room and she was yet to arrive. As the hearing progressed, we heard what we didn't expect. The state had decided, in light of her disappearance, to initiate TPR (termination of parental rights). If this was completed successfully, Cruz would be 'free for adoption' and the state would have sole custody.
Hearing this, and later having it explained to us, we were consumed with hope. Hope for this little boy to become our son. Forever. We were so excited about the possibility.
After the hearing, we went to pick Cruz up from the shelter near the courthouse (they were baby-sitting for us during the court hearing). The nice lady brought him out to us. "Cruz, here is your momma and daddy to pick you up." I could not believe she called us that. We were told not to make kids call us that. But, it felt so good to hear. Words I'll remember forever. From that moment on, he called us 'Ma' and 'Da.'
May 11th, 2010A year and half later, we were finalizing Cruz's adoption. He had come so far. He was talking on target for his age. He was potty trained. He was exactly where he should be. All delays were gone. We were so happy. On this day, Cruz became a Powell. Forever.
November 2nd, 2013
He is my son, and I am so pleased with who he is. It doesn't matter what his biology is, he is MINE. God meant him for US. And in turn, I give him to God. And I pray that I am the dad he deserves. There are more days than not, I wonder if I'm failing. I worry I'm too hard on him. I worry I'm too easy on him. I worry that I don't teach him enough. I'm often scared because I don't know how a dad is supposed to act. I don't have much of a point of reference, having grown up without one. God blessed me with some great men in my life to look to. But, I often struggle with the day to day.
And so I resolve. He is mine, but first he is the Lord's. I remember daily that I am not capable, but my God is. I cling to the promise that in my weakness and inadequacy, his strength and ability are perfect. This Thanksgiving, I'm pondering the great gratitude I have for the children God has graciously granted me to care for in this life. I am truly blessed.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
(Psalm 127:3-5, ESV)
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