Men Must Run

"Don't run, Seth, where is your dignity?" said my friend Andrés as we crossed the busy avenida to get to Pollos America - the best rotisserie chicken in Cochabamba, Bolivia. Joking, I retorted, "When the chicken is this good, running is necessary." Andrés was one of the several young men I was working with through mentorship and discipleship. He was from an underprivileged home and only recently had begun to experience the taste of eating out. For some of the guys, I expected it to be more exciting for them, but their culture somehow had them believe that if they ran, it meant they had no dignity. It was an unspoken, subtle way to snub the wealthy, to say, 'what you have really isn't much better.' This type of attitude and mentality was fairly common among the population we did ministry with, and that phrase, "where's your dignity," is a perfect example of how we let our pride steal the joy of what is to come. We often do not run, because we think that it is unbecoming. I think of the quote from the Justin Timberlake movie where your currency is the time you have left to live (In Time), "if he has time, he doesn't need to run."

Running is for exercise. Other than getting the heart rate up, there is no need to run. We teach our kids not to run. We tell them, no running in the house. No running in the store. No running at church. Be calm, be still.

...be dignified. 

We seem to have married this sentiment with our daily interactions and we no longer run. And sadly, I think this is especially true among men. We don't run unless it is for sport. We do not like to be rushed or to appear too emotional. We have been conditioned to think that men can only be excited over sports, and any other display of vulnerability is unwarranted. Yelling, running, crying, and more are not allowed outside of that framework. We limit our ability to demonstrate sincerity in passion, and have stunted the depth of ours relationships with those around us. To an extent, we have all been taught to stifle our joy when it is not culturally appropriate. For instance, women generally aren't viewed with the same contempt for showing their emotions. However, there are moments. Most men don't mind, some even enjoy, seeing a woman excited about sports. But, that excitement is confined to the superficiality of professional sports; there must be at least some degree of relational separation. Most boys, and a lot of dads, tend to not want their moms or sisters or wives rooting too much at the their little league or high school games. Why is that so embarrassing? Because it somehow, and in an unspoken way, suggests that those boys on the field are somehow less independent or capable. Mama's boys are seen as weak boys. I'd be willing to suggest that vast majority of the ways in which vulnerability must be hidden is directed in what we think about how a man should be and how we think men should act.  

But this idea, this aspect of our culture, is not really in line with Scripture. Paul said, "but [the Lord] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ power may rest on me." Throughout the Bible we see example after example about the strength it takes for men to be vulnerable, and how the Lord uses that for His kingdom. In a world where men are told not to be vulnerable, we must remember Nehemiah weeping for the city of Jerusalem. We must remember that though Jesus raised Lazarus, first he wept for him, mourning with those who mourned. We must remember that when the prodigal son returned after his material betrayal of his family, his father ran to him to embrace him. Men, we must not only learn when to weep, but when to run. It is not just okay, but right. 

In about a month, we will be in the city of Bogotá, Colombia to finalize the adoption of my 12 year old son. This week has been a hard one, and my mind has not paused from counting the days until we will have him in our arms. Over the past several days I have seen photos of a few friends currently there in Colombia to finalize their adoptions. One picture of my friend Mindy had me in utter tears as I mourned the present absence of our boy. The moment she saw them, she began to run to them. You see one of her two new sons beginning to break stride towards his new family. In tears I considered our own upcoming reencounter with D. The thought crossed my mind, "Don't run, Seth, be a man." But that is not what being a man is. I know with certainty, I will run too. I will let nothing stand in my way. He is ours and we are his. I know that the Father must have the same (and bigger) love towards us. What better testimony and example of that, as men, than for us to learn to run.