Last week, my 15 year old (practically mine) told me that he kissed a girl. It wasn't his first. And, surely not his last. I wasn't too concerned about the kiss as much as his heart in kissing a girl who is not a "girlfriend" nor a believer. I overreacted. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? HOW DOES THIS HONOR GOD??? WE JUST TALKED ABOUT PURITY AND MODESTY YESTERDAY!!" Yeah.... I know it wasn't sex, but I also know his past. I know that compared to his past, a kiss isn't much. But, I know that once you've been somewhere it's easy to find your way back. Sexual sin is like that. I worry, I panic, and I often fail at trusting the Lord like I should.
Friday, my 11 year old got in trouble for being repeatedly told to fix his notebook at school and not doing it. It was horribly disorganized. Not a binder, no, it is a spiral bound notebook with homemade dividers. So guess how you fix that? Hours of tearing pages out and gluing them to other pages. His attitude was not sorrowful, but resentful. As if it is the world's fault he did not follow directions and now had to pay an undue horrendous penalty while innocent. His attitude has been like this the past few weeks. He doesn't want to take responsibility for his errors and always has someone else to blame. I wonder if there is a boarding school in Bolivia....?
Yesterday, I discovered my 9 year old has 3 zeros at school because she hasn't been taking her notebook or working well in class. I also saw her hiding at recess to pick her nose... I won't finish that one... The teacher also exasperatedly told me that my 8 year old (in the same class) will not stop talking and has a hard time paying attention. She has moved her all around the room.. She even talks to her self if put by herself. Yay. And... we lost her literature book.
Some nights you are just so tired... Do they have to brush their teeth? How often do they REALLY need to bathe anyway? Can they just all pick jobs that don't require much education? Maybe they'll marry into money... They can't speak well in English or in Spanish, but at least they speak two languages, right? So what if they talk like Melania Trump in both of them. (That isn't political, just an observation.) The room isn't dirty if the door is shut, right? Why do they want to eat all the time? Do y'all have these thoughts?
So, I dunno what you all think, but parenting just down right sucks sometimes. I feel like such a failure far more than I really should (or maybe not...). But in the midst of all my mess-ups and during all of their mess-ups, His grace is sufficient. It is so easy to see the burden that comes with having children. It's no hard task to get weighed down with all the expectations and worries. But, that doesn't for a second affect our love for them. It does, however, affect our moods with them. As believers, we talk a good bit about the tests and seasons we go through. We talk about how those things are supposed to refine us. But we rarely apply that logic to our home, to our children. Psalm 127:3 tells us that children are a blessing from the Lord. The next verse says that they are like arrows in the hands of warriors. This along side Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 9:8, "and God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, you will abound in every good work," should give us a deeper perspective of what it means to be a parent. Children are one of several blessings that the Lord gives us to help us "abound in every good work." Think on that and what it implies.
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