"Dad"

I've had four experiences in my life hearing a child of mine tell me "Dad" for the first time. For none of my children was this among their first words. In fact, in each case it came much later and every one was different. Not sure if it was because I was raised with no father and never had the privilege to call someone "Dad," but those four moments are among those I will treasure until the day that I die.

First, there was Cruz. My first, but not my oldest. Ashley and I had been licensed foster parents and were caring for a sweet little boy with development delays. A month after his placement, his mother disappeared and the state of Mississippi began a termination of parental rights and offered us the opportunity to adopt him. But I became "dad" before the process even began. On the same day they initiated the termination process of parental rights, we had no one to keep him while in court. The social worker arranged for him to stay at the shelter next door during the hearing. After the hearing, while picking up Cruz, the worker said, "here's your mom and dad." Cruz's face lit up and from that moment on he called me Dad. I remember it vividly as he said "Da" and hugged us as we picked him up. My heart leaped with so much joy at the sound of that word. In that moment my heart changed, this was MY son. From that day on, he was mine. My son. Regardless of blood and genes. He was, and is, and forever will be, mine.

On the day we finalized Cruz's adoption, we received another foster placement. Two little girls, sisters, and so incredibly rambunctious. This placement was different. They came to us with the intent of adoption. The state had already begun the termination process of the parental rights. We were introduced to them as mom and dad from the beginning. However, for the days and weeks to come, I felt so inadequate. We jumped from zero children to three (4 years old and under) in just over a year. At the sound of "dad" I was filled with fear. "Can I do this?" "They need so much attention." Don't misunderstand me. I LOVED these girls. But I was battling my own sense of inadequacy. I remember praying to the Lord, "I so love these girls but I feel like they need and deserve more than I can give." It was a process, but with time, the Lord supplied his amazing strength, his peace, and I began to truly understand that God's grace is sufficient. I remember a moment when I heard them say "dad" and in my heart, I knew that God gave me them as a tremendous blessing. That simple word from their mouths is a testimony to the Lord's grace and his amazing strength he gives us to do his will. My princesses are such a blessing. I cannot express what a joy and privilege it is to call them my daughters.

Well, years passed and we moved to Bolivia to be missionaries. Within our first years of ministry, here in Bolivia, the Lord gave us a ministry to young people. We began to make connections and friendships, have youth Bible study, etc. One young man began to bring many his friends one by one over a period of several weeks. One of his friends, Edson, made a special connection with our family. Of all the teens, Edson began to spend time with our family almost daily. He instantly won our hearts. I met his family, his mom and dad and brothers. His two older sisters and their families. The Lord

really just put a love for them in my heart. Soon Edson thought of us as a second family. About a year and a half later, Edson's dad was admitted to the hospital. Within a fews days they received the news that his father was in the final stage of stomach cancer. Just a week later, he passed away. It was a difficult time for Edson. His family lost their main source of income and they were in mourning. Suddenly I was the only father figure in his life. I continued to invest and God steadily formed this young boy in my heart as a son. I soon began to love him as my own. Recently, during a conversation he said that he'd thought about what to call me since I was more than a friend. I told him he could call me whatever he liked. He decided to call me "papá" (dad). The first time he said it, I cannot explain adequately what my heart felt. I've always said that adoption reveals the heart of God the father towards us. But in this moment, through this boy, I understood how our hearts are to be towards Him. Edson loved me by choice. He chose to love me because of the love that I lavished on him. His behavior, his attitude, his goals changed little by little over the course of the time we've known each other. He chooses to honor me and to respect me. He considers me in his choices. Not because of obligation or shame. But because of Love.

God has abundantly blessed me through my children. The legal ones, and the one of my heart. He continually teaches me how to be a father. Yes, I lack so much. I make so many mistakes. I am shamefully inadequate. But his grace is sufficient. I am so blessed that God adopted me in Christ. That not only does he provide for me, but he lavishing his love on me. That love is a love that changes hearts and minds and lives. I pray that this love would forever work in my heart and life to His glory. So, as we approach Bolivia's father's day tomorrow, these are some thoughts that are on my heart. What amazing love the father has for us in Christ Jesus. And how amazing that through that love, we begin to look more and more like our father day by day.