Blessings Aren't Typically Easy

My kids are great. Don't get me wrong. They are truly a blessing. Only problem is that the common theme of "blessing" in the Bible isn't the "Ooh look at this money, and that easy road, and comfortable this, that, and another." In the beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12), Jesus implicitly defines "blessed" as an earthly condition or state that comes with heavenly reward. "Blessed are the poor in spirit...those who mourn...the meek...the hungry...the merciful...the pure in heart...peacemakers...those who are persecuted..." I say this to say that sometimes (most of the time) real blessings don't really feel like blessings.

Somehow, we've redefined the term blessed to mean lucky, privileged, abundant, etc, etc, etc. But this cultural understanding we've developed in America isn't correct. What I find ironic is that if you google search "blessed definition" you get a result that seems to be far removed from our Land-of-the-Free connotation. The first definition is "made holy, consecrated." As a related side note - this is comical - the second definition is "term used in mild expressions of annoyance or exasperation." I don't know about you, but I've found myself in plenty of situations that caused me exasperation and great annoyance yet brought about very positive growth in me. This is what blessing means, that we endure uncomfortable situations and circumstances that produce growth in us and grant eternal (not temporal) reward.

Okay, back to the kids. Yeah, they are a blessing from the Lord. I love them more than just about everything else in the world. But let's face it, sometimes our kids get on our nerves. Some times they exasperate us and just really annoy us. We all like to look at the "good days" and consider our sweet little blessings from God. We tend to think of our love for them or their love for us as our blessing, or we find it in pride of our family line, or the passing of our name, etc. Be honest, how often do you think of your toddler's (or in my case, your five year old's) tantrums as your blessing from the Lord? Or when you get little eyes rolled at you or a disrespectful comment? What about when they have difficulty - sickness, bullied, or worse? I bet you just slap a big smile on your face and yell "Hallelujah" from the roof of your house.

But lets think for a second about what a blessing really is - the consecration and sanctification of the believer. How are we made holy? How are we conformed to the image of Christ? Once you answer this, you discover what "blessed" really means. We are made holy by the washing of the word, the doing (not just hearing) of the word. James 1:27 even says that we are kept unstained (or in a sense - made holy) through caring for orphans and widows (the least, the less fortunate) in their affliction. Our service to the community, our mourning, our poverty, our struggle, our mercy, our gentle humility (meekness) - these are our blessings. These are the things that make us more like Christ. And for those of you with children, you know that they bring about just about all of these. What Christian parent does not know of mercy, poverty, mourning, gentleness, hunger (we all know we sneak snacks in the closet), peacemaking (especially if you have more than one), and persecution in the life of raising their little "blessings."

Tonight, I found myself exasperated, persecuted, mournful, hungry... All at dinner time.. So, as I sat steaming over my daughter, Carmen, not eating her delicious and nutritious soup, I thought about that biblical idea of children being a blessing from the Lord. I honestly spent a few seconds resenting that verse because I was blinded by all the "difficult" moments of parenting. I realized that I had failed to see my real blessing. My opportunity to become more like Christ as I learn to be merciful, patient, gentle. To have more of his character developed in me through lack, frustration, and difficulty. Yes, my love for them and their love for me is an amazing gift from God. But, my blessing lies in what these treasures teach me, simply by being themselves.

We won't be in the parenting season forever. They grow up. We must treasure our time with them and not resent the lessons we learn from them. Zachariah 4:10 says, "don't despise the small beginnings..." Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:18 that we are not to focus on the seen (temporal) things, but to focus on the unseen (eternal) things. There is more to our God than this momentary wisp of humanity we call life. We are to steward all our gifts for his glory, including our kids. But we must be ready and willing to see the "blessing" they are meant to be. We have to learn to appreciate the growth and maturing that happens in us. Let's not despise those small beginnings of terrible twos and adolescent disrespect, but see the eternal lessons and the shaping of our hearts that happens in us, and anticipate the wonderful example we can be for our kids.