At a conference, years ago, author Richard Exley said that "the most insidious form of deception is when we use the truth to deceive." I've always remembered that quote because it was so powerful. To think of using partial truth to communicate a whole lie. Like when my daughter says, "she hit me!" and then withholds the fact that she hit her sister first. The idea of using truth, which God ordained to bring freedom, to imprison one's self to falsehood; such is a great perversion of God's will and God's character. Our society has begun to propagate partial truths that are deceptive, causing many to obtain beliefs and understandings that are contrary to God's word. One such perversion of truth has become the role and responsibilities of manhood.
We see that women are capable of everything that men are; a truth. Women's rights movements push to destroy the 'glass ceiling' and feminist push for the abandonment of societal 'gender roles.' Women are taking positions of public office, positions of authority, and involving themselves in professions and activities once solely inhabited by men. Likewise, we see a migration by many men toward jobs and activities previously dominated by females. We are seeing increases of female CEOs and male nurses. More and more women taking on the position of 'head of household' either wantingly or otherwise. A woman's ability to take on these responsibilities is not in question. That ability is a truth; they are capable.
I heard someone say once, that just because something is true doesn't make it right. Truth is, I can fill out a ticket as good as any police officer. However, unless I have been granted that authority and commissioned to take on that responsibility, I have no right to pull someone over and write them a ticket. God created man and woman with established roles. Not because one was greater than the other, but because this role was to exemplify the relationship between himself and the church. God ordained man for authority, and with any amount of authority comes responsibility.
God has been dealing with me lately; not solely on my responsibilities as a husband and a father, but also the role God ordained for man. God set man as head of the land, head of his family and home. God gave man the responsibility that comes with this position; to govern, to lead, to train. Man was commissioned to represent Christ's love, to teach his family the ways of the Lord, to affirm and encourage his wife, to teach and disciple his children. This position has been compromised due to, not only the evident truth of a woman's abilities to perform these tasks, but also the gap between instruction and discipleship of boys. Men are refusing to take up this call and thereby allowing the role God designed for men to be perverted, weakened, and belittled.
We constantly hear comments about the 'failings' of men. They are evident in tv, movies, and other media. This 'fall of man' is perpetuated by every aspect of society, including by the men who accept this defeat. We are inundated with comments like these:
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."
"Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks."
"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."
"Men are a luxury, not a necessity."
These quotes, some subtle (and very g-rated compared to many I've heard), communicate this idea that men are simply a joke of evolution and not the creation of God's likeness. Man was made for relationship with God. Woman was made as a gift for man so that he "would not be alone." The problem is that men stopped appreciating this gift and forgot the purpose for which they were created. In their absence of responsibility, woman rose to the occasion to fulfill those duties of leadership.
This change has become so concrete in modern society that men are even taught, especially in our western culture, that women are to be treated as equals. We are taught, inadvertently, that it is okay (or even recommended) that men are 'equal' with their wives. My complaint is not that woman are given unjust liberties or that they should be subservient to man. My complaint is that men need to take up the responsibility that God gave them. Men need to be more responsible with regard to their children, with regard to their wives.
My job is to lead, encourage, and affirm my wife. To love her as Christ loved the church. To sacrifice myself to present her as pure and holy. If my actions, my words, and my intentions don't lead to her sanctification, then I'm failing in my responsibility as a man. If my days are not spent teaching and disciplining my children about the Lord, I'm failing. If my life lacks integrity and I lack self-control, ambition, and empathy, I am not the example I'm supposed to be.
My prayer is that God would raise up an army of men that walk with confidence, integrity, and valor. Men who submit themselves to God and live above the tide of accusation. My prayer is that men would take back their role as the head. I tire of hearing jokes, emails, etc about men not measuring up. What legacy are we leaving our sons? What purpose and value will they inherit because of the lives we live?
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