Wednesday, April 23, 2014

I wish you were never born!


Imagine it...

Braden is 14 years old and plays soccer for his school. He makes average grades, is fairly popular, and his family is well off. One day, Braden, who was influenced by his best friend, Josiah, decides to rob a convenient store for kicks. It was just a coke and a king sized reeses, not to mention the store owner wasn't that great a guy. Braden and Josiah laugh it off that day, but one thing led to another - poor choices in friends, his dad lost his job, his mom resented the situation, Braden felt neglected, anxious, and angry... Eventually Braden was stealing on a regular basis, getting into fights, failing in school... One day, his mom comes to a breaking point. She is tired of all the parent-conferences at school, the officers returning Braden home after so many fights, paying for things he'd stolen with money that they didn't have, etc, etc, etc. It's tuesday evening, after an especially hard day of Braden's mom, Sharon, talking to the bank about the mortgage, and in walks Braden holding a stolen jacket and rubbing a new black eye.

"I wish you were never born!" screamed his mother without warning.

As a parent, I can't say that I've ever reached that point. In fact, the thought of telling my kids this is a horribly saddening concept. Most, if not all (respectful, responsible..), parents would shudder at the thought of telling a child this. "Their self-esteem would be shot." "They'd be traumatized." "No good parent would ever think of such a thing." Yet, this is what God says to man before the flood in Genesis.

"The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the LORD regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So the LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them." But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD."
(Genesis 6:5-8, ESV)

This passage is one that has puzzled me for years, and one I still don't think that I fully understand. I understand what is going on. I get why God wanted to destroy man, and all of his creation. But, what I have trouble reconciling is the fact that a perfect, all-sufficient, all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign God would face a moment of regret. Further, the actual wording used is similar to the thought or act or repentance. How can a perfect, sin-less God repent or be sorrowful for something done "according to the perfect counsel of His will"? Maybe I'm wrong (I'm way out on a limb here), but the thing that I find sticking out to me is, "but Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord."

Noah became man's redemption, according to God's providence, as he found favor in the eyes of the Lord. Now, I may never have wish my kids to have never been born, but I have encountered moments, particularly soon after our adoptions, when I've questioned if I'd done the right thing. In the moments of difficulty, I faced moments where my thinking centered on the fact that life would be easier if I had simply said no when we received the call for our adoption placements. I've regretted, at times, the heart ache, the frustration, the high blood pressure... But, God has always provided redemption for his plans in our lives. In those moments of parental despair, I'm reminded of the blessing that children are, that they are a heritage and gift from the Lord. I'm reminded that I was difficult at one point too. And, generally speaking, in those moments, my kids will do or say something that refocusses my attention on the purpose and joy of my kids. I find it comforting that God can relate to me as a parent on this level and that God providentially supplies the lenses to help me refocus every time I need it. Parenting is hard. But in the words of Tom Hanks, in A League of Their Own, "It's the hard that makes it great!" 

My prayer today is that in every season of frustration or sorrow, that I would meditate on God's provision and redemption in my life. May my attitude be one of humble grace and may my strength come from the Lord, my help in times of need. May I, as a parent, look to Jesus for my wisdom and guidance as I pray for patience, grace, and joy in my parenting and stewardship of the blessings God has give me. Because... I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!



1 comment:

  1. Not always an easy thing to do, especially in those difficult situations when it seems "out of control". But God is our Redemptor, or Savior and Grace -- all wrapped up into one package of the greatest act of love, that He not only spoke and lived out, but dies to prove his unfailing love. He can and is the only one able to give us the strength to walk things out, as be His hands and feet towards others, especially our children and family.

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