Funny how expectation can run a gamete of emotions through the heart's carousal. When Ashley and I made the leap to pursue missions in Bolivia, God immediately began to undo the stagnant structure of our hearts. "Which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?" (Luke 14:28) Our first response was to count the cost. We began to think, quite selfishly, about the dreams and wants and desires that we'd have to give up.
We knew the Lord had called us to this life, and we were prepared to give up all the things we considered the cost of abandonment. See, we were somewhat blinded by the grace God had with our hearts by loosening the ties between us and our stuff, between ourselves and our comforts. That transition, though looked to with fear, was an easy one. God simply changed our hearts. We didn't crave the same comforts, so giving them up was easy. It was the later testing that we weren't quite prepared for. "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4)
Quickly, it became evident that the 'good byes' would be our challenge. The challenge wasn't in parting ways (roads), but parting ways (culture). We never realized the painful, uncomfortable gap that would grow between us and those we love. It is not a matter of us becoming more holy, or of our friends and family becoming less of who they are. It is a matter of the heart God is shaping to do the things which he has called us to do. God will always prepare the heart for the journey. The discomfort happens when the journeys are different. "And I will ask the father, and he will give you another comforter, to be with you forever." (John 14:16)
We are so thankful to the comfort of the Holy Spirit, who affirms, confirms, and establishes our calling according to God's will. Our prayer is grace for the road. Not in solely favor for ourselves, but favor in grace with each other, with our families, with our friends. Our prayer is not that the road be easy, which is the anthem of our souls, but that the journey be everything the Lord has determined for our good and for his ultimate glory. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26) [This verse explained.]
The most sorrowful aspect of this season is the willingness required to let go where there is no grace. To accept the distance growing among us and those we love, so that we can cling to the calling the Lord has placed on our lives. Let me reiterate, we are not walking away or pushing anyone out. Just the opposite, we are struggling with the letting go so that we can run with abandon into the heart of God on the mission field. We want as many of our friends and family on this journey, too. The gap is so big when the journeys are divided. But, it is made smaller where there is partnership. Where there is encouragement. Where there is affirmation.
Though there is sadness in the expectation, there is also exhilaration. There is overwhelming joy. There is excitement over all the small ways God has been gracious to us by allowing so many of our close friends and family members to already partner with us, to lessen the gap. We are blessed to have financial donors, labor contributors, affirmers, encouragers, exhorters, and intercessors, all doing all that they can to be a part of this God dream we are living. Thank you all for your sacrifice in many areas to see us succeed. To God be the glory and may his grace and peace reign supreme in our hearts. "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)
No comments:
Post a Comment